Aww Come ON! Home is SO LAME!
Okay you guys. I’m all “home” and everything, and honestly, it’s really just not GW. It’s not the same. I just miss school so much. Let me try to explain.
So I landed at the airport and went out to the street and there’s my “dad” waiting for me in his “car”. I mean it was so ridiculous! And then we drove home and on the way there were all these totally annoying two-way streets! What the hell is that ABOUT? It’s like holy Milgrim, learn how to build a city! So we get to our “house” and my whole “family” is there. I mean, come on, what a load of bullshit, right? Oh, and then get this. We eat dinner at this “dining room table,” with “silver ware” and “real glasses”! And that’s not all, it’s a home cooked meal! I know, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Oh man, Darren, how do you survive on anything other than your signature EasyMac/Ramen combo with plastic fork and Brita? How do you do it, Darren? HOW!?”
Well, reader, it is extremely difficult. Let me tell you, with the first bite of that perfectly cooked steak I was almost positive I would vomit. In fact I went into the bathroom to do so, but I was so repulsed by the “clean toilet,” “2-ply toilet paper,” “full soap dispenser,” and “clean towels,” that I simply ran away screaming.
I returned to my “house” later that night, and it was so stupid. I was up in my “own room” with all this “privacy” and then slept in my “own bed” with “clean sheets.” I mean, holy Hollywood, people; let’s get our shit together, shall we? A real bed is an extra long twin with month old sheets. It is never made, and it is the oldest mattress we can find. Also, it is a bottom bunk.
And don’t get me started on Thanksgiving. What a bullshit shit-shit! Eating “amazing food” all day? NO THANK YOU! I will have none of it. And I will have none of this “hospitality,” “working showers,” “lack of awkward roommate confrontation,” or “incredibly successful local sports teams.” Holy Elfin-woods Warbler, Home, I’ve had enough of you!
I’m sorry, you guys. I went a little too far. It’s just so hard being away from school. You know what I mean.
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This article is about a man who belong to a rich family and he telleng us that how he passes his
school life and when he left his
how he was felleng.