Don’t Worry About That Final!
It’s not a big deal if you fail. Here’s all that happens if you fail that final:
- If you fail the final, you fail the course.
- If you fail the course, you set yourself back for graduation.
- If you set yourself back for graduation, your parents won’t pay for school anymore.
- If your parents won’t pay anymore, you have to drop out of school because you’re poor.
- If you drop out of school, you’ll never get that high paying, satisfying job.
- If you don’t get that job, how do you plan to run the company?
- If you don’t run the company, you’ll never meet a beautiful, intelligent mate.
- If you never meet that mate, you’ll probably never get married.
- If you never get married, you will be incredibly sad and alone.
- If you are sad and alone, you’ll probably stop going to your shitty job.
- If you stop going to your shitty job, you can’t afford rent.
- If you can’t afford rent, you’ll become homeless.
- If you are homeless, you’ll start selling your body for bread and crystal meth.
- If you sell your body for crystal meth, you would do anything for crystal meth.
- If you would do anything for crystal meth, you would probably coerced into terrorism for a fix.
- If you become a terrorist, you will have to become a suicide bomber.
- If your a suicide bomber, you’ll die for a cause you don’t believe in.
- If you die for a cause you don’t believe in, your life was wasted.
- If your life was wasted, you fail.
- If you fail, why did you ever exist in the first place?
Happy Studying!
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Comments
Stop consigning me into your subjectively “rational” categories of social identity you determinist isotope of conformity.
The fact that there is a category of music called “emo” suggests there is another, larger category of music that conjures no emotional reaction from the listener. This is a problem.
Personally, the only emotion “emo” music conjures is a twanging fed-up-ness, but that’s outside the point.
The point is: when mass music is in such an anesthetized state that one genre is isolated as the one in charge of making one feel anything (it being irrelevant that “emo” music is — in most cases — almost no different from “normal” poprock, save perhaps a less talented singer), the chasm that betrays the immateriality and insufferability (one cannot even suffer, he/she is so numbed) of contemporary existence is revealed.
“I think the kid above should listen to less emo music…” is reactionary, is petrified, is incorrect. The comment it responded to was not expressing the “emo”tion “emo” music gestures toward. The comment above was expressing la promesse du bonheur that remains dormant in many, but not in he/she who grasps, takes hold of life and lives it for the beauty it contains.
Good luck on exams, everyone.
could you guys teach a class on rational and irrational constructions of social identity in the postmodern world? could it have a final? could i take that final and fail it?
To play my part in this sick play of life - contemplating my existence as a futureless meaaningless absurdity thus laughs in the face of life. I should kill myself but I don’t because fuck rational expectation - this is an act of pure freedom that redeems life from its meaninglessness.