GWU Protests Too Quickly, Too Awkwardly, & Too Much

The GWU just sent the strangest email “statement”:

Statement Regarding Radio Comments About Street Corner Foundation Request to Use GW Venue for Celebrity Charity Basketball Game

Please attribute to Tracy Schario, director of media relations

The George Washington University is surprised and disappointed to learn that its efforts to schedule a celebrity charity basketball game, an event the university has been pleased to host in the past, have been erroneously portrayed.

In fact, the university committed the requested venue to the sponsors for one of their preferred alternate dates this summer, which the sponsors then rejected.

The Street Corner Foundation initially asked to use GW as the site for a charity basketball game during Big Tigger’s 7th Annual Celebrity Classic in Washington, D.C. The original dates requested, June 7 or June 14, were unavailable due to contracted floor maintenance taking place June 2 - 14, 2008.

The university and the celebrity basketball game organizers then evaluated alternative dates, and the university committed in writing to one of the alternate dates provided by the sponsors. However, the foundation then declined that alternate date.

The university considers it unfair, unwarranted, and wrong to be accused of declining the original request for any reason other than scheduling conflicts.

The university’s commitment to the District of Columbia and the health and well-being of its residents is long-standing and well documented. We cannot stand by and allow capricious and untruthful allegations to be leveled against the institution or its employees. The facts show the institution conducted its business properly and in support of this worthy cause.

We remain ready to host this event at a mutually agreeable date.

This email — ostensibly — is Terry Schario & The GWU’s clearing up of some things needing clearing up of. Obviously, it clears nothing up. Let’s address a few things this email does do:

1. Address phantom “radio comments.” I have no idea which station, which show, which state, which distribution mode (internet or invisible waves) or — most important — WHAT WAS SAID. How can I know what The GWU is trying to clarify if I don’t know the initial statements? Why refocus a camera if you’re not going to take a picture?
2. Presume ascendancy. Whenever organizations distribute tonally peremptory stuff like this email, my eye goes all squinty. By “my eye goes all squinty,” I mean I ask myself “Why are they so defensive & stultifying & concrete?” It never looks good.
3. Skip a step. The GWU skipped the “Contact the Station & Have Them Correct the Error They Made” step that comprises such an integral part of Barrington Wrenchtine’s famous 1 Step For Correcting Print & Radio Errors Made Regarding Your University. As Wrenchtine says:
   

   The misreport only really matters to those listening to the program, which means those listening to the program should be the primary audience for the correction. Just contact the station & have them correct their error. That way it will look like it was the station’s error in reporting & not your University’s error in acting that you are attempting to buff out.

   Indeed, Mr. Wrenchtine.

4. Gets sent twice. I just got the email again! 36 minutes later. They really want people to get this email.

I don’t know about you guys, but this email makes it look to me like The GWU did something he’s not very proud of. Maybe I’ll ask him about it tonight and post a new Post-Coital Colonial Prattle.

What do y’all think? Comment & tell me.

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