Earlier today a Hack Shit columnist sent us this email:
As you guys may know, I’m a regular columnist for the Hatchet. My last opinions piece ever was supposed to be printed today it was not, and instead I was written he following email…
Hi [Name of Hatchet Columnist],
I’m sorry to have to write you that we will not be publishing your column. We had a meeting with the editor in chief and the executive decision was made that your column, due to its criticism of another campus publication (the Daily Colonial) was not appropriate to run from one of our columnists. While we appreciate the constructive criticism of The Hatchet, we don’t feel it’s appropriate for columnists to criticize other campus publications on our page. Please feel free to call me if you want to talk about the decision, and also feel free to re-submit a version of the column as a letter to the editor for the May 12 issue.
Thanks,
[Name of Hatchet Editor]
–
I’ve attached my column here, feel free to post it, comment on it, etc.
Alright, so, um…yeah, here is the original article (with my edits in red):
Finals are upon us, graduation is weighing on seniors like me, and The Hatchet is churning out its last issue of the year today. [The imagery here is confusing: if finals are upon the collective first person (us), how does a subset of that category (seniors) find room for graduation to weigh on them? Churning seems hastily chosen (much like 'hastily chosen' seems hastily chosen).] This will be my last column for the paper and I’m approaching it with the same mixed emotions I have for Miley Cyrus’s song “See You Again”: a little bit of hate mixed in with something I find enjoyable. [An Aural Cocktail, bartender. Seriously, though: the wording here doesn't make any sense.]
It’s hard to believe that I started writing regularly two years ago, albeit for The Daily Colonial. [I don't believe it! It's too hard to believe.] It’s even harder to believe that both publications I’ve written for since that time have seen some brighter days. [This is marginally harder to believe than the previous statement, but that's only because I don't know who you are, so the fact of your writing some articles is something I will believe without hesitation (I'm kinda gullible, I guess)] Some analysts out there might think there’s some correlation between my writing for the two papers and the decline of both. [I've never understood this kind of joke.] I, however, beg to differ. [A solid, unegoistical decision! Carry on.]
First of all, [this is unnecessary] The Daily Colonial was poised several years ago to become a huge asset on campus by informing the GW student body about day-to-day, less-covered events and happenings around campus. [rephrase] Smaller organizations could have gained a good amount of publicity [any publicity is a good amount of publicity, or words to that effect] through the daily online publication. [the use of through confuses me] The paper has numerous advantages because of its non-print, purely electronic format. [strange you call it a paper in a sentence describing it's un-paperness] Specialized blogs, podcasts and video stories could have carried campus reporting to a new level. [the sixth level]
Poor leadership sunk the site, though. [sunk the site sounds 'sunk the ship'-y to me & the connection makes me uncomfortable] Posts became irregular and the writing grew less refined, [uh oh, I hope this doesn't happen to The Colonialist] but most importantly efforts at publicity faltered, causing a loss in advertising revenue. [No! not a loss in advertising revenue! No! That must be the final reason! This feels like a halfhearted jab at what caused the end-end-end-end-end-worse than before-ness of this year's Daily Colonial (in your opinion)]
My time at The Hatchet has been great, and I definitely enjoyed writing each column I put out. [This is a weird tone, but it's one of those 30 inches things or something, right?] Yet, I found that the overall quality of the paper started to sink this year. [I haven't noticed anything in this year's Hatchet quality that suggests it's worse than before] Poor editing created and left behind awkward phrasing, poor grammar,\ and wrong words. [I don't know if that backslash was put there on purpose, but it's hilarious either way] Even just about a week ago [commma!] we were blessed with the spectacular headline “Intelligent Students Decrease” (April 17, p. 1). [inflated language falls flat]
Frustrations with this paper are evident in the student body. [the student body is not a text or a room, this statement is impossible] Several friends and acquaintances expressed utter disgust at the April Fools issue which they found neither funny nor useful. [I didn't think it was funny -- granted, I didn't read much of it -- but utter disgust is over-moralistic & when followed by "neither funny nor useful," I just get confused. Useful? Hunght?] Beyond this simple hearsay, [what simple hearsay?] however, is actual documentation of student concerns with the paper. [oh, your friend's individual opinions] A reader of both this publication and of The Colonialist blog sent a letter to The Hatchet expressing grave concerns about irresponsible journalism; the letter can be found on The Colonialist. [Woo! Plug! Also, half-self-prediction] The contributors of that popular Web site, as well as the more conservative (they prefer libertarian [not all of them prefer that appellation]) GW Patriot are gaining the respect of many students, and their readership seems to be increasing. [ours is increasing, that's a fact, not just a seeming]
These blogs have been filling the gaps left by The Hatchet and The Daily Colonial. [I don't consider myself to be the caulk that keeps the GW student publication bathtub full of Hatchet/Daily Colonial bubblebath.] Constantly propping up student theater or performance teams, The Colonialist certainly supports smaller student groups on campus that receive less coverage in the bigger paper. [That's not why we do it, though! We do it because it's what we want to see covered.]
The GW Patriot, meanwhile, has expressed outrage on a topic yet to be analyzed in either paper – the controversy surrounding a Yale student’s ambitious, gruesome, slightly confusing and morally repugnant art project. [Hey! We addressed that, too...kinda. Well, we had an article...ah fuck, whatever. Why do the gates of your moralistic lexicon fling themselves open whenever anything you disagree with is mentioned?] Coverage of these types of stories could elevate the plane of thinking that GW students operate on. [I disagree, I don't think that type of story (there's only one mentioned) does much for the "plane of thinking" on campus. It might "elevate" temperatures, but not brains] The Hatchet could facilitate real discussion on these important issues just as they do for campus-related topics like GWorld money. [My position: FUCK GWORLD MONEY] I know there are plenty of reasons why The Hatchet can’t expand to more than just a biweekly publication. [I can only think of three: not enough free time, content, or trees] If The Daily Colonial doesn’t start covering such stories, The Hatchet easily could, at least online. [So, you think that the blogs -- which know how to run themselves -- should be subsumed by the two publications which you think cannot keep their threads together?]
If you have been a regular reader of my columns you don’t need me to expand on why I’m sometimes skeptical of blogs and the blogosphere in general. [I haven't been, but I guess I can check online (it's nothing personal, I just don't read the Hatchet very frequently)] As such, I’d love to get The Hatchet and The Daily Colonial back on track. [Yeah! Like...whenever it was they were doing things the way they were...] These papers need to get back in touch with the student body. [Yeah!] Unless they implement key changes that range from daily updates to utilizing a broader subject base, I could easily see sites like The Colonialist becoming a dominant force on campus. [that'd be silly] Kudos to them. [thank you]
–The writer, a senior majoring in International Affairs, is a Hatchet columnist.
The amount of red might lead one to believe I disagree with the columnist (or was trying to belittle, or whatever), I WASN’T!
(Subtext: Sheeet, the Hatchet edits a lot.)
If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.
Kirk Larsen… the new Soltan?