Love Letters
We received an email early this morning from Michael A. Keough, who had sent a letter to the Hatchet for publication Thursday. We asked him if we would send him one right back, and he said sure.
Dearest Hatchet,I was glad to see your publication continuing its high standards of quality journalism in today’s edition. After running an article on “declining intelligence” amongst GW students, your editorial page was quick to denounce…yourselves? And after an ad attacking the MSA on campus graced the pages of your paper, you made sure we knew that you were going to stop…the Hatchet? Add on the poster and swastika controversies you helped blow out of proportion earlier in the year and you can count me among the growing masses that turn to The Colonialist for their campus news.
It’s been real Hatchet, but I’ve got a new broad.
Yours,
Michael
We were just really pumped someone liked us enough to send an email, so we thought we’d give him a shout out right back.
Dear Michael,
We noticed you liked us and wrote a letter to another publication about liking us. We like you. Like, a lot. We’ve been in relationships before, but we’ve never fallen for someone so quickly. It just feels so right, ya know. We’d really like to have you come over this weekend, make some dinner, have some wine, and watch a DVD or something, ya know. We just like spending time with you.
We’re so glad we found each other. We’re so glad you made the switch.
Hugs and Kittens,
TheColonialist.com
Hope that letter finds you Michael A. Keough.
Are you making the switch? Apple.com/Switch
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Comments
Keep in mind that ‘declining intelligence’ was a theme in the report. The Hatchet was absolutely retarded to continue the theme in their story, and the headline was horrible, but they didn’t come up with it on their own.
Don’t go ranting at the Hatchet come thursday for leaving out Michael’s letter. (My prediction.) Because Michael sent the letter to you guys, he basically killed his chances of getting it published, as it is a public letter and no longer exclusive to that publication. Basically all newspapers have an exclusive policy. It’s a shame, because it brings up a great contradiction and probably would have gotten in.
wow, i’m really glad somebody pointed that out, about “declining intelligence.” i wanted to write to the hatchet, but all i could come up with was: “…….”