Breastmilk is the Bestmilk
PETA sent a letter to Ben & Jerry’s yesterday. From the letter:
On behalf of PETA and our more than 2 million members and supporters, I’d like to bring your attention to an innovative new idea from Switzerland that would bring a unique twist to Ben and Jerry’s. Storchen restaurant is set to unveil a menu that includes soups, stews, and sauces made with at least 75 percent breast milk procured from human donors who are paid in exchange for their milk. If Ben and Jerry’s replaced the cow’s milk in its ice cream with breast milk, your customers–and cows–would reap the benefits [...]Like all mammals, cows only produce milk during and after pregnancy, so to be able to constantly milk them, cows are forcefully impregnated every nine months. After several years of living in filthy conditions and being forced to produce 10 times more milk than they would naturally, their exhausted bodies are turned into hamburgers or ground up for soup…
They concluded:
The breast is best! Won’t you give cows and their babies a break and our health a boost by switching from cow’s milk to breast milk in Ben and Jerry’s ice cream? Thank you for your consideration.
[all typographical emphasis mine]
Now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, PETA. One restaurant decides to get all breasty & you think both Ben & Jerry should get breasty, too?
Look, people — namely, late stage capitalist barons — ABUSE THEIR RESOURCES. I say it’s best for the world that we keep as many people out of that category for as long as possible and do our best to get those who are currently in that category out of it.
New point (I apologize for the disorderliness, this absurdity is throwing me through a loop and another loop and a third loop):
A few equations:
- Cows being forcefully impregnated for to make milk = bad
- Women being forcefully impregnated for to make milk = worse
- People drinking cow’s milk instead of breast milk = status quo
- People drinking breast milk instead of cow’s milk = absurdity
- Cows’ exhausted bodies becoming hamburgers = not great
- Women’s exhausted bodies becoming containers for broken souls = horrible
- People not getting as much nutrients from milk as potentially possible because they aren’t drinking breast milk = bad
- Babies not getting the nutrients they very much need because their mothers are selling their milk = horrible
Think child labor is bad? Imagine the horrors sustained by the impoverished just-pubescent who know they will have a definite source of income should they start lactating.
Here’s a quick list of things I think are more important than cows:
- Babies
- Children
- Preteens
- Teens
- Young Adults
- Adults
- Elderly Folk
Seriously, folks. Unless Bristol Palin is the first paid breast milk donor, I ain’t supportin’ it.
I want to see this: 
, not this: 
.
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Comments
Somewhere, Peter Singer just got the chills.
Anyway, the milk was going to be taken from willing women. No one is being forced to do this, and nothing about cow milk consumption being the “status quo” makes it less absurd than alternatives.
Poor argument.
I realize status quo is no justification, but the idea that “willing women” will be able to supply enough milk for Ben & Jerry’s is just silly.
It makes sense that one could find enough “willing women” to produce the amount of breast milk necessary to provide enough milk for 75% of one restaurant in Switzerland’s dairy products.
Can you imagine the amount of “willing women” necessary to make the amount of milk needed to supply Ben & Jerry’s with enough milk to maintain even 25% of their current production?
It’s astronomical.
Consider:
Do you know how much milk one cow makes in a day?
25 gallons.
Do you know how much milk one woman makes in a day?
25-40 ounces. That’s .195 - .316 gallons (it was hard to find that amount, so here’s a source)
Wikipedia says:
“The surge of oxytocin that triggers the milk ejection reflex also causes the uterus to contract. During breastfeeding, mothers may feel these contractions as afterpains. These may range from period-like cramps to strong labour-like contractions and can be more severe with second and subsequent babies”
They cite a book, elsewise, I’d have linked to the source & not wikipedia.
I say again:
“Think child labor is bad? Imagine the horrors sustained by the impoverished just-pubescent who know they will have a definite source of income should they start lactating.”
I didn’t present an argument of any substance because I can’t imagine a situation where this might have to be argued against.
It’s too silly.
travis’s point was also about the capitalist market. you might have willing women, but you might also have women who become willing or become pressured into being willing by the prospect of earning money. suddenly you have a situation in which women in lower income brackets begin doing dangerous things for their health to make money. this happens by the way, when people get paid for blood donation it’s pretty common that you have people trying to go as frequently as possible to the point that it’s unhealthy. i know that the dairy industry is pretty exploitive, but i’d rather exploit cows than women any day.
I dont know what you’re all talking about. Im gonna go the sixth grade route here and support this idea. why you ask?? because I need as many boobs in my life as possible on a daily basis. HOORRRAAAAYY BBOOBIES.
PS I do not want any PETA milk. it would prob taste like soy
I’m all for this, but only as long as we start naming appropriately.
How about:
BreastBerry Swirl
Titillating Tangerine Tart
Mint Chocolate Tit
Boobies N’Cream
Half-sucked
Mommy’s Garcia, (that one may need work)
Just a start.
As a member of the Lactose Intolerant portion of the population, I would like to express the utter nonchalance with which my people greet this whole issue. Milk?? PAH!